Wigtown Lad's Debut Darkly Comic Crime Novel

So, you’re a Wigtown lad are you – what are the connections?

My family have lived there for generations. My great grandfather owned the drapers which is now The Bookshop and my grandad was the court officer in Wigtown, which meant he lived in the County Buildings. Very confusing for a five-year-old. I grew up on a farm there and though I moved away when I was 18, I went back in 2000 to help my mum set up Café Rendezvous. It’s amazing to see how the book town has grown over the years.

My brother Graeme, who still lives there is “The Hoof GP”, with about eight million online followers worldwide for his videos.

What’s your career path been?

I’ve done all sorts, hospitality, selling cars, agricultural engineering. I spent quite a lot of time fitting cattle mattresses – yes, that’s a thing - and building crushes for hoof trimming. I have tinnitus in my left ear as a reminder. Wear your ear defenders!

I moved to Amsterdam at one point to try and make it as a stand-up comedian. That was after my brother bet me that I wouldn't do a stand-up set and entered me into Channel 4’s So You Think You're Funny competition in 2001. Later I did a run at the Fringe. But it was never full time – I guess you could say I’m a failed stand-up comedian.

Then I had a happy accident and fell into fraud prevention. I did that for 14 years. I spent a lot of time tracking down internet fraudsters, career criminals who buy people’s identities and payment details on the dark web then exploit them – buying things in their name and then selling them on. I saw some crazy scams down the years, and some brazen scammers. When I started, it was much easier to find people on social media and common to see people flaunting what they did. I remember one guy’s profile picture with a gun and a pile of cash.

Then, in 2023 I set up the YouTube channel, Scotland Unplugged, which is dedicated to stories about Scotland and its history. I’m not a proper historian but I love a good story and people seem to respond to that. Last year I added tours into the mix. It’s good to get out now and again and meet actual humans.

So, this is your debut novel – what’s it about?

Yes, but not my first book. I co-wrote the two Hoof GP books with my brother.

With the novel, half the story really takes place in Wigtownshire - and it's partly from the perspective of some young farmers who get themselves into deep trouble.

A lot of that comes from my own life experience and the humour of the people I grew up with, though I've obviously never tried to kind of snoop on drug-smuggling gangsters or anything like that.

Part of the idea is that Wigtownshire had the smuggler coast. If you look at the shoreline, there are breaks in the rocks. They were moved over time, between tides, to create channels for boats. Until relatively recently, everything came by sea. Wigtownshire is thought of as remote now but geographically it’s pretty central. Historically it was a junction between England, Scotland, Ireland and the Isle of Man. In the old days it was contraband like wines, spirits and tobacco. So, if you’re going to smuggle things into Scotland, that's where you’d do it. It could be the same today.

Are you planning more fiction?

Yes, I have written a sequel to A Snow Storm in June. How the Other Half Die is due out next year and picks up soon after the events of the first book.

I also have the Precious Metals urban fantasy series underway. That’s probably best described as Underworld meets Highlander, set in Edinburgh. The first book combines my love of Scottish history and mythology with contemporary crime fiction. If you like Ben Aaronovitch’s Rivers of London books, keep an eye out for those.

You can see RMG Parker at his event on Saturday 26 September.